The tears of Joy

 

The tears of Joy

 

1

Samsun was excited. At the same time, she was afraid and anxiety took her over. She was not sure what her experience would be. After all, she was only fifteen. The man she was being married to looked very old to her. She has not seen her father but she thought maybe he would be at the same age as the man she is marrying. She had no choice. Rather she felt lucky. She dreamt but never thought that like every girl she will have the luck to get married and a man will be her own.  Who will look after her and give her security? Samsun lost herself in her past while waiting for her newlywed husband.

She grew up as an orphan. She had another sister, but she forgot about her now. She had one stepsister and a stepbrother as well; both were very kind to her. But her elder sister Jaytun could not take care of her much as she was married, and was not allowed to keep her baby sister with her. Samsun’s brother was rather an otherworldly pereson. People say, he become like this as he had no one to take care of him once his parents died and he got little love from his relatives. He spent many days without any food. It was this time he was introduced to a man who was a custodian of a local shrine. Samsun’s brother started working with the man and eventually become custodian himself. He became a semi-nomadic person visiting one shrine to another.

Samsun’s only relative was her maternal uncle. He was not a well-off man himself. He did not have land of his own and used to work on other people's lands and would get half of the produce. He had his own family to feed. Which was quite large. When Samsun came to live with him, his wife did not like it. Samsun was only six years old. At this age, she used to do a lot of household works. Maybe at the end of the day, she would get a piece of dry handmade bread or cold rice to eat. She can remember that she used to ask the neighbours whether they could keep their rice starch so that she can have that as food something that people usually through away or feed it to their cattle. For days that was her only food.

It was a very rough time. People used to say the war is going on. British are fighting a man called Hitler. Samsun did not know exactly what it was. but she noticed something was different. The soldiers used to march past her village. Dhaka, the capital of East Bengal was not that far. Her area was part of Faridpur district. But the area she used to live was an island. Padma and Meghna the two biggest rivers were on either side of it. Chandpur was a famous river port at the time, which still is. That is why soldiers used to cross her village on the way to board the ship from Chandpur. People were talking ill of the government. It was taking all the food crops of the province to feed the soldiers. The talk was going on that famine may breakout. All the newspaper from Dhaka was predicting that. Samsun did not know how to read. It was a luxury for her. Her brother sometimes used to visit her. She heard it from him. He used to say, “ Samsun! “Try to stay happy my baby sister”. I know life is tough. But we should be grateful that Allah has kept us alive whatever our condition is. Many soldiers are dying. I heard it from the gentlemen in the city. they say that queen will lose this time.” By queen, they meant Queen victoria. Although she was long gone. people still used to think her as the queen of India. Samsun's brother said, “Durbikkha hoibore Boin”, meaning a famine will breakout. It is not because nature was harsh on the people but because the government is buying every crop and people have no choice but to sell it to the government. Price of denying to sell the crops to the government was high. She remembers as people were saying that big Mallick was hanged in the Bazar in front of everyone as he refused to sell his crops to the British. In 1350 of Bengali year (1943 CE) a famine broke out and 4 Million people died out of Bengal’s 60.3 Million people at the time.

Piles of the dead body were lying by the railroad as people were trying to gather in the city to get help. People, crow and dog used to fight to get the wasted food from the bin. People become a live skeleton. Samsun along with her uncle’s family travelled far away to Asam hoping there would be some food as Burma was famous for its crops growing. She travelled that far on foot. Her little body had no choice but do that to survive. It was this time Samsun’s sister Marjina went missing. She never saw her again in her life. Years later her children met her but Samsun was long gone by then.

Although Samsun grew up as an orphan,  Allah gave her a lot of beuty. She grew up to become a beautiful young lady. Something that became her bane rather than a boon. It was impossible to save herself from the greedy eyes of the bad men. Being a poor orphan girl people was interested in violating her rather giving her shelter. Luckily her uncle did everything to keep her safe.

2

Ali was a sailor. Although his father did not like him being a sailor. But Ali did not listen to anyone. He was very handsome and fair-skinned. Something made him very self-conscious about. He used to wear clothes bought from Calcutta. People used to call him ‘Gora’(White man).

Ali was looking for a suitable bride to marry again as his first wife and two children died of cholera. Being a sailor, Ali used to travel on the river a lot. He owned his transport boat. It was one of this visit when he met Samsun. It had been long since Ali lost his family. He did not give much thought of remarrying. He was in his forties now. But seeing Samsun, he wanted to try his luck again. It did not take long to convince Samsun’s uncle marrying her to Ali. Samsun had no choice. She never thought that this day would come in her life. She felt rather lucky Saying ‘Yes’ to what was on offer. She was only 15.  

3

There was not much ceremony. There was no marriage registrar as well. Only a local clergyman recited some religious words and took consent from the bride and the groom. Not many people gathered.

The farewell was miserly. No one was there to give her away. A rather unknown man extended his hand and Samsun held it with the full breadth and lots of hope.

 

4

Samsun felt rather insecure. She was not sure what awaits her in the future. Her husband’s sister in law put her in a rather spacious room. Samsun being only 15 did not know what was supposed to come. She was getting herself ready to embrace what it means to be a woman.

5

She was nervous. Panicked as well. But all her woes went away when she saw her husband by her side. Ali held Samsun’s little hand tightly. She shivered with anticipation but also felt a sense of assurance. She did not hear the word ‘I love you’, but she knew she had someone whom she can rely on and upon whom she can empty all her burden. She knew for the first time in her life that she got something that she can claim as her own. Tears ran down her eyes. It was a moment of happiness, but she could not control her. Ali put his hands over Samsun’s head. She knew this hand will protect her from all things bad.